THE TALE OF TAILS
Of
cats and dogs we have our share,
That's
why our house is full of hair.
House-proud
folks must think we're mad,
They
just don't know the fun we've had.
Though
money-wise they keep us poor.
They'll
keep the Wolf from our front door.
That
they'll protect us you can bet.
We've
never had one call here yet.
Some
of our dogs have been shown at Crufts.
We've
twelve "Lassie" Collies, known as Roughs.
Apart
from ten Borders, we have just one,
She
is a "Spollie" we keep for fun.
I
must explain, the little "Spollie"
In
other words a "Spitz-Cum-Collie".
Her
Mum and Dad were indiscreet,
And
the tiny offspring were so sweet.
Outside
their home, a sign said HONEY.
My
wife called in there, with some money.
She
soon forgot the sticky stuff,
When
she saw that tiny ball of fluff.
That
was how she spent her money.
Now
we've got a bitch called Honey.
"Do
you have boarders?" I hear you say.
No
ours are NOT BOARDERS, they're here to stay.
Not
just for a week, while the family's not here.
We
hope they'll be with us for many a year.
They're
the sort you see at "Trials" with sheep.
Exceptionally
clever they're, a pleasure to keep.
uch
brighter than I am, that much I can see.
If
I were as clever, the dogs would keep me.
At
agility tests they're the finest you'll see,
As
I'm sure you must know, if you watch T.V.
When
we're in bed, and just can't sleep,
We
always count Collies instead of sheep.
They're
Millie, Molly, Mandy, Katie, Kelly, Kim.
Timmy,
Tony, Tina, Jenny, Jamie, Jim.
Dazzle,
Dawn, and Wincey, Emma, Prince and Honey,
Bluebell,
Sam and Little Prince, therefore little money.
Though
we've so many, four-legged pets,
We
seldom have reason to visit the Vets.
We've
Bluebell who waves and Poppy who talks.
Wish
we had more time to take them for walks.
They've
lots of space to run and play.
At
six o'clock, that's twice a day,
I
make my rounds, with rake and pan.
Why
do they call me "Scooper Man?".
Now
as for cats, we have a few.
There's
Witchie, Moggie, Snoopy too.
And
Damien, when he was small,
The
naughtiest kitten of them all,
Would
suddenly, and without cause,
Grab
your hand with teeth and claws.
Seven
years on, and as many lives.
Still
with us he lives and thrives.
Like
good wine matured with age,
He's
mellowed now, no fits of rage.
A
fluffy lump of ginger fur'
He'll
lay contentedly and purr.
Cuddles
as his name implies,
Has
long black fur, and golden eyes.
He'll
cuddle up and purr and purr,
Till
round his mouth he soaks his fur.
His
sister Moggie's just as bad.
More
loving cats, we've never had.
Lostie’s
a wanderer, a prodigal cat,
But
when she returns she’s healthy and fat.
She
goes missing for weeks, in spite of our fears,
Once
we’ve given her up, she then reappears.
Gismo’s
a grumpy half Persian cat,
But
we’re fond of her in spite of that.
So
many tales, two more to tell,
Not
just two tails four hooves as well,
The
last remark you'll guess of course, is
A
reference to a pair of horses.
My
son and his friend each have a mare,
When
mucking out each does their share.
Laurie's
is the light one near the barn,
Always
well groomed, her name is Tarn.
The
dark one is Dreamy, His Friend's of course.
Another
smart well turned out horse.